Peace Loving Muslim Located; Expresses Normal Human Concerns

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Noting the way violent and irrational Muslims have dominated the news, while the peace loving Muslim masses and, most inexcusably, Muslim clerics have in general remained reticent about the scandalously murderous terrorist talk and the mayhem the lunatics advocate, we decided there must be, among the world’s billion or so Muslims, any number of normal, … Read more

Come Out With Your Checkbook Open

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Being a movie buff with smiling memories of Jimmy Cagney, Joey, more in debt than usual, found himself in a familiar role. So come out with your checkbook open. “Joey, do you hear me?” the customer service rep called through a bullhorn. “This is Verizon.” “Whaddaya want?” Joey called back. “This is a final disconnect … Read more

Man Loses Memory; Shows Up At Emergency Room

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“How did it happen,” the intern asked, “a tramautic emotional event, a knock on the head?” to the man loses memory. “No, no, nothing like that,” the businessman replied, taking out his PDA. “You see, I keep everything in my electronic organizer. At first, it was a convenience. Then, over time, I became dependent on … Read more

The Topless CPA

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“This place is amazing,” Todd told Lila, the topless CPA dancer who had just charged him for touching her hand. “Is there anything you don’t charge for?” “Not very many,” she joked. “How’d it get that way?” he wanted to know. “It was started by a dancer who saved up and got her CPA.” Todd, … Read more

A Revised History Of Pasta

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While Marco Polo, a Venetian, is generally given credit for discovering noodles in China, recent research suggests that Italian pasta in all its glorious varieties was actually discovered in Rome nearly a century earlier, and quite by accident, by a remarkably unlikely epicurean named Julius Amplonius, with the able assistance of an invading barbarian named … Read more